Madeline is a Star!

This year was Madeline's first year to take dance and gymnastics. We debated about whether to start earlier, but her recital this weekend made us glad we waited. She really learned a lot a knew her dances well. She made me so proud with the mature way she stood on that stage and was not intimidated at all. She was just beautiful.

Our dance studio decided a while ago to split the performances into 3 different recitals as it was lasting until midnight when they did them all together.
So, Saturday afternoon was gymnastics. Maddie's class theme was Wonder Woman. It was so fun to see these little 3 and 4 year olds in these cute costumes. She had such a great straddle roll, cartwheel, back bend, and toe-touch. We had to tape the boots to the tights on her little bitty legs but they held!


Saturday night was the tap/clogging/jazz recital. Maddie's class danced to a cute song about eggs and Easter. They were precious in their yellow dresses. We were worried about the hat (not pictured here) but it also held with some creative bobby-pinning. This was her favorite dance and she sang the song and did all her steps just right. She was especially excited about having her hair curled!

Today was the ballet/lyrical/point recital. Maddie's class did a dance to a really sweet song about nightlights and going to sleep. They even had their own battery nightlights that they danced with. This was my favorite dance and it made me tear up just watching how sweet they were. She looked so grown up with her hair in a bun and she was so graceful!
We did video tape each performance but didn't want to upload all of that right now. Also, I prefer to watch the actual performance instead of spending it behind a camera snapping pictures so we don't have any pictures of the performance on my camera. My dad did come and take some great pictures during her dress rehearsal. I will try to upload them the next time we head out to their new house in the country:)

Maddie left each recital excited about what the big girls did and learning those things herself someday. I'm so glad she has found an activity that she enjoys so much. She did not complain one bit even with all the waiting and watching. She just soaked it all in and loved it! I'm just so proud:)

Happy Mother's Day!

I have always loved Mother's Day. Even before we had children, Nathan would give me gifts from our dogs. I am very close to my own mother and love getting a special chance to show my appreciation to her.
I have seen a lot of really great posts from the various "Mommy Blogs" that I follow and felt that I needed to add one of my own. So here I go. . . .

I have had to make some big decisions about what kind of mommy I am able to be recently. We all know the labels: SAHM, Work at Home Mom, and Work Out of the Home Mom. In the blogs I follow, most are SAHMs who would not have it any other way. One (that I love to read still) even said that this Mother's Day was more special now that she gets to SAH full time because, before, her babysitter did most of her child's raising. This post made me happy for her but sad that some view WOHMs as ones who have less meaning in their child's upbringing. I have actually had all 3 mommy labels in the past and know, from this experience, that I have been just as involved in my children's' lives regardless of the label. There are 14 children in Madeline's preschool class, who all have the same teacher, but are remarkably different. That is because they all have different mommies and daddies who are raising them. Even though they are in daycare during the work week, their parents' impact is huge. Time does not always mean more impact.
As all who read this blog know, we have been trying to put me in the SAHM job for a while because it is what I would love to do. I would love to be there for every minute but circumstances dictate that I will work, for the time being. So, I am thankful to the wonderful people who care for my children when I am not able to. Most of those wonderful people are working mothers, like me, who miss their own children but are having to serve their families in other ways.
This all probably seems like a lot of rambling and I am not really trying to start some kind of debate. I just want everyone out there to know that, no matter what your mommy label is, you are a wonderful gift to your children whether you spend every moment with them or every morning, evening, and weekend. Thank you to those who help mothers as well, we could not do it without you!

Happy Mother's Day!!!

A Decision Has Been Made

Well, after a lot of prayers and many serious discussions between Nathan and I, we have decided that I will keep working. We are not sure how long, but I do feel at peace with this decision. It is hard to explain all the reasoning but basically, we are just not prepared to live on his income. Those who know us best know that we already live a pretty frugal life. There is just not much we can cut out and leave enough for all of the little "extra" surprises that seem to pop up each month.

I have had a little bit of a hard time moving on, but I know that God will direct me in the path I need to go and , for now, this is what He would have me do. I feel a peace that I never felt when I was juggling how we were going to make it work on Nathan's income and I know that is because it was not the right decision. Nathan has been wonderful in all of this and reminds me daily of what a truly wonderful man I married.

So, with that decision made, we had to move on to the other one. We are not going to start foster care right now. I want to be able to be the best possible foster parents we can be and don't feel that we would be able to serve our desired age group as well if I am working full time. It is something that we will re-visit each year and feel that we will do it sometime in the future.

Now, we go on and live a life that I hope makes God very proud. I will still throw myself into motherhood and wifehood (is that even a word?) with everything that I have while making sure that I also continue to work to be the person God wants me to be. I look forward to another year in the wonderful world of 1st grade and hope that God will use me to do His work in this part of my life. I will keep reminding myself that there are many wonderful and amazing mothers in this world who work outside the home (my mom included) and that there is no perfect and exacting prescription for raising children the "right" way. I will turn to God when I am faced with people who think this choice is somehow selfish and materialistic and know that this was a difficult decision that was made carefully and with love.

Thank you to those who I talk to more often in "real life" for your support and listening ears.

I will try to find time in this busy time of year to post more pictures. Both kids are growing and changing so fast right now and I can't wait to spend this summer with them!!!

God Bless!

I'm finally back!

Okay, I've been on a blogging hiatus for almost 3 months. It has not been intentional. First, I was just busy after going back to work after Christmas Break. Then, we looked like we would have a change in the plans I posted about last time and I just felt weird and kind of sad posting about the changes. But, I'm back. I've kept up with everyone else and hope you haven't given up on me.

Now, for some updating. After taking the steps to become a SAHM, our heater went out. Then, other expenses started to creep up on us and we were really feeling the pressure. Also, everyone at work kept telling me how terrible it was that I was leaving because they thought I was such a good teacher and would really be missed. One of my co-workers, whose daughter will be in 1st next year, even started trying to talk me into teaching for just one more year so that she could have me. Then we realized that, if I do stay at home, Maddie will have to sit out of preschool because it is super expensive and there is not a more cost-effective alternative. All of this combined made me start to have 2nd thoughts. Can we afford such a change? Am I wasting my teaching talent? Is it okay for Maddie to miss a year of preschool before kindergarten? Can I teach her as well at home? So, I told my boss and Nathan that I felt that I would need to keep working and thought that was that. I would keep working, we would put off foster parenting, and just wait for a time that we could better afford this lifestyle change.

Well, then we got a call from DHS to set up our first in-home meeting. We had been waiting and waiting and then just planned to tell them never mind, we are not ready. Then, I started thinking that we could still be foster parents, the babies will just have to go to daycare. The DHS person came and met with us and BOOM!!! All of my feelings about wanting to stay at home with my own children and a foster child came flooding back. I felt like I had made a rushed decision to keep working in fear, feeling all the pressure of the expectations of everyone around me.

I still have not made a decision one way or the other. I'm glad that I still have plenty of time to change my mind and really pray and think things through. I just need to look to God and really weigh the outcome more carefully. Needless to say, Nathan is a little put out with the roller coaster of my decisions and just wants to be settled one way or the other. He tends to lean toward me working because of financial concerns but is willing to support the decision for me to stay at home.

Now, if you have had enough patience to actually read all of this, I would love to hear your advice. I know that I follow blogs who are very diverse and would love to hear everyone's perspective. Is the financial worry of letting go of half our income worth it? Thank you in advance for reading and for any advice you have!

Here are a few pictures too:

Madeline had dance pictures a few weeks ago, and we sponge-rolled her hair for the first time. I thought she just looked precious walking around in the rollers that I had to catch it. I had planned to have a cute after picture, but we made the mistake of not drying her thick hair more before putting in the rollers and the curls did not hold because it was still pretty damp. We had to go to plan B and use a curling iron when we got there. Live and learn!

They also recently had a day for parents to come watch and I enjoyed every minute of it. I had to take a 1/2 day of work since her dance is at 1:30 but it was so worth it. I need to crop and zoom in better on this but thought it was tool cute not to share before. Madeline is the 2nd from the left in the bright pink.

Well, we took the plunge!

I told my principal that Nathan and I had been doing a lot of soul searching and financial planning and I will most likely not be back next year. I won't turn my official resignation to the school district until spring but felt I needed to be honest so that she can find a great replacement for next school year.

I can't believe that I am going to be a SAHM for the first time, as we treated my time at home after having Will as more of an unpaid maternity leave. If all goes well, I will stay at home until Will starts school.

It has been a real lifestyle change but I think that we have been smart by living a more simple lifestyle while we still have my income. Its made it possible for us to pay some things off and really begin piling up our savings. It has been a walk of faith for me and I feel that my relationship with God is really becoming stronger. Before, I wanted to control every aspect of my life very carefully and now I'm relying on Him more and more and I feel such a peace at letting go.

We are also looking into becoming foster parents to babies. We are just starting the preliminary paperwork and seeing about getting into the classes. It will probably take a long time but is something that has been on our hearts since we stopped running the group home. We would plan to only have one at a time as our car will not support more than 3 small children and a mini-van is definitely not in the new budget anytime soon.

I'm sure that some who are close to me will not think that we are making a wise decision. Someone asked me recently, when talking about our choice, why we were making any changes when our kids seem to be happy, well-adjusted kids already. I was a little stumped at first, but then all of a sudden the Good Lord put the right words in my mouth. I told this person that I could have the material luxuries that my job provides or the luxury of more time with my children. When put that way, it was an easy decision for me. This person understood completely and was accepting of our decision. I'm not so sure we will be as lucky with other people in our lives but know in our hearts what is best for us.
Please keep us in your prayers as we embark on very uncharted territory for us. It is wonderful and scary all at the same time. I'm sure that through prayer and faith in Him, it will become even more wonderful and less scary everyday.

And, just for fun, here are a few pictures of the kids from last weekend. We have a dear friend who was sick in a very plain and ugly hospital room. We decided to create some artwork to brighten it up. So, please add our friend, Jo, to your prayers. She is having a hard time getting over her pneumonia.

Oh, and in new news, Will is really walking a lot now! He does still crawl some, when it is more convenient, but walks a lot. He has the funniest gait, like Charlie Chaplin and, you can tell he was in the cruising phase for a long time because sometimes I'll catch him side-stepping when he could just go forward. Too cute!

Not Me Monday (a day early)

Okay, I've only done Not Me Monday one other time before but thought I would give it another try.

1. I did not find myself so lazy that I did not feel up to figuring out how to link my Not Me Monday to MckMama's blog. I am very computer savvy and never feel intimidated by others' blogging abilities.
2. I did not get the giggles when I was uploading pictures and found this slightly blurry picture of our dog Molly looking as if she is casting some kind of spell with her eyes. I am a very mature woman who deletes such nonsense and would never go so far as to actually post it on her blog for anyone to see.
3. I did not, out of laziness, decide to try giving my food obsessed 17 month old a whole half of a banana instead of cutting it up into small pieces. I know my child very well and would have stopped myself, realizing that. . . . .

. . . he would decide to shove as much of it as possible into his mouth at one time! I am a very responsible parent who takes chocking hazards very seriously.4. I did not get so relaxed during my holiday from work that I let my children's play room get to this point. I am a wonderful housekeeper and would never use my children's nap time to read a book instead of organizing such a mess. My children's play room would never look like this one.

5. I did not have as much fun as my children playing with all of the new Christmas toys. I most certainly did not have fun organizing all of the new Little People toys into a little village after my kids went to bed at night. I spend that time cleaning up and reorganizing, not playing with the toys of a 1 and 4 year old!

I hope everyone has a great Monday!

Now for the Good Pictures!

On Christmas Day, Madeline got a bathrobe from her Great Mema and modeled it for everyone. Can you tell Nathan is her Daddy? I guess I was purely responsible for birthing her:)
Will was more into collecting wrapping paper than actually finishing opening gifts or playing with what was inside them. He was really cute trying to fit as much paper in his hands as he could.

My parents refurbished an older family bike for Maddie to learn on. She took it for its first spin right in their living and dining room.

Right after my parents got settled into their new house, they decided to get a new dog. They adopted this puppy from a rescue shelter and named her Macy. She is supposed to be a shitzo (sp?) beagle mix. We will all be interested to see what she looks like full grown but she sure is a cute puppy.

Oh, and just a quick side note. I also celebrated my 29th birthday on Dec. 28th. It was a quiet celebration but nice. I am not unhappy about turning 30 next year because I know what blessed life I have had and just feel grateful for each and every year.

Happy New Year everyone!