Okay, I've been on a blogging hiatus for almost 3 months. It has not been intentional. First, I was just busy after going back to work after Christmas Break. Then, we looked like we would have a change in the plans I posted about last time and I just felt weird and kind of sad posting about the changes. But, I'm back. I've kept up with everyone else and hope you haven't given up on me.
Now, for some updating. After taking the steps to become a SAHM, our heater went out. Then, other expenses started to creep up on us and we were really feeling the pressure. Also, everyone at work kept telling me how terrible it was that I was leaving because they thought I was such a good teacher and would really be missed. One of my co-workers, whose daughter will be in 1st next year, even started trying to talk me into teaching for just one more year so that she could have me. Then we realized that, if I do stay at home, Maddie will have to sit out of preschool because it is super expensive and there is not a more cost-effective alternative. All of this combined made me start to have 2nd thoughts. Can we afford such a change? Am I wasting my teaching talent? Is it okay for Maddie to miss a year of preschool before kindergarten? Can I teach her as well at home? So, I told my boss and Nathan that I felt that I would need to keep working and thought that was that. I would keep working, we would put off foster parenting, and just wait for a time that we could better afford this lifestyle change.
Well, then we got a call from DHS to set up our first in-home meeting. We had been waiting and waiting and then just planned to tell them never mind, we are not ready. Then, I started thinking that we could still be foster parents, the babies will just have to go to daycare. The DHS person came and met with us and BOOM!!! All of my feelings about wanting to stay at home with my own children and a foster child came flooding back. I felt like I had made a rushed decision to keep working in fear, feeling all the pressure of the expectations of everyone around me.
I still have not made a decision one way or the other. I'm glad that I still have plenty of time to change my mind and really pray and think things through. I just need to look to God and really weigh the outcome more carefully. Needless to say, Nathan is a little put out with the roller coaster of my decisions and just wants to be settled one way or the other. He tends to lean toward me working because of financial concerns but is willing to support the decision for me to stay at home.
Now, if you have had enough patience to actually read all of this, I would love to hear your advice. I know that I follow blogs who are very diverse and would love to hear everyone's perspective. Is the financial worry of letting go of half our income worth it? Thank you in advance for reading and for any advice you have!
Here are a few pictures too:
Madeline had dance pictures a few weeks ago, and we sponge-rolled her hair for the first time. I thought she just looked precious walking around in the rollers that I had to catch it. I had planned to have a cute after picture, but we made the mistake of not drying her thick hair more before putting in the rollers and the curls did not hold because it was still pretty damp. We had to go to plan B and use a curling iron when we got there. Live and learn!
They also recently had a day for parents to come watch and I enjoyed every minute of it. I had to take a 1/2 day of work since her dance is at 1:30 but it was so worth it. I need to crop and zoom in better on this but thought it was tool cute not to share before. Madeline is the 2nd from the left in the bright pink.