Well, after a lot of prayers and many serious discussions between Nathan and I, we have decided that I will keep working. We are not sure how long, but I do feel at peace with this decision. It is hard to explain all the reasoning but basically, we are just not prepared to live on his income. Those who know us best know that we already live a pretty frugal life. There is just not much we can cut out and leave enough for all of the little "extra" surprises that seem to pop up each month.
I have had a little bit of a hard time moving on, but I know that God will direct me in the path I need to go and , for now, this is what He would have me do. I feel a peace that I never felt when I was juggling how we were going to make it work on Nathan's income and I know that is because it was not the right decision. Nathan has been wonderful in all of this and reminds me daily of what a truly wonderful man I married.
So, with that decision made, we had to move on to the other one. We are not going to start foster care right now. I want to be able to be the best possible foster parents we can be and don't feel that we would be able to serve our desired age group as well if I am working full time. It is something that we will re-visit each year and feel that we will do it sometime in the future.
Now, we go on and live a life that I hope makes God very proud. I will still throw myself into motherhood and wifehood (is that even a word?) with everything that I have while making sure that I also continue to work to be the person God wants me to be. I look forward to another year in the wonderful world of 1st grade and hope that God will use me to do His work in this part of my life. I will keep reminding myself that there are many wonderful and amazing mothers in this world who work outside the home (my mom included) and that there is no perfect and exacting prescription for raising children the "right" way. I will turn to God when I am faced with people who think this choice is somehow selfish and materialistic and know that this was a difficult decision that was made carefully and with love.
Thank you to those who I talk to more often in "real life" for your support and listening ears.
I will try to find time in this busy time of year to post more pictures. Both kids are growing and changing so fast right now and I can't wait to spend this summer with them!!!